Chai's Blog

Its not long since I con­scious­ly chose to stay alone.Just with myself, no one else.There were days when I was scared so much to stay alone even for very few days when all of my roomies are away for their hol­i­days dur­ing my col­lege days.At that time I was well sur­round­ed by so many peo­ple but still then I dont know why every sin­gle night was like a hell for me.But now the sit­u­a­tion is so much different.I am far far away from any of my friends. I am in a place where I dont know any­one except for very few peo­ple. To be pre­cise only 2 close pals. And just an year back I used to pray God every­day to take me away from this very same place before any of my friends so that I wont be the last soul who has to stay here with­out any clos­est friends. God has been so much kind to me and sent me to ban­ga­lore, then my city of dreams.Exactly after 8 months in ban­ga­lore hav­ing enough of traf­fic on Hosur road and spend­ing most of the time in Infos­ys bus­es whose dri­vers wont at all get a change to go bey­ong gear‑3 and at work with non-coop­er­a­tive col­leagues I saw no opur­tu­ni­ty to grow there and decid­ed that I wont waste my time there.Thats how I end­ed up where I am now!

But now I am very grate­ful to bangalore.It depressed me a lot that stay­ing in trivan­drum that too alone turned out to be be noth­ing when com­pared to the frus­tra­tion when I was in bangalore.Now I am alone in a big house.I can do what­ev­er I want, no one to ask, no one to dis­turb, no one to get dis­turbed, I can spend as much time as I wish under show­er, I can cook what­ev­er I want when­ev­er I want, I can scat­ter any­thing any­where. I can see the chan­nel I wish, lis­ten the song I like. I have the time to con­tem­plate, to study‑I still remem­ber how much I was strug­gled to con­cen­trate in the midst of vocif­er­ous TV sound which my dis­cour­te­ous room­mate used to watch when I was in ban­ga­lore 🙁

I could­n’t believe myself is it the same me.Well, now I liked this lon­li­ness so much that some­times I for­get that I am alone and I wish there could be 10 more hours per day.Previously I thought I am an extro­vert but now I can be as an intro­vert too.Never mind the few extra thou­sands which you have to pay for rent.Those are no match to the free­dom you get to do what­ev­er you want.Thanks to the the mod­ern com­mu­ni­ca­tions. All my clos­est friends and fam­i­ly are just away from a call or a click.I may be phys­i­cal­ly alone but my aspi­ra­tions and my dreams are always there for me to challenge,allure and engage.